Me and My Baby, My Baby and Me
by FlynnieG
Summary: At three in the morning, Calhoun gets a visitor who will get answers to all your questions. No matter what it takes. Dynamite Baby!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: For all of my music-lovers, I have a challenge for you. The title of this fanfic is the name of a song from one of my favorite musicals. Anyone know what it is?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Wreck-it Ralph. . . what else is there left to say?**

Sergeant Calhoun was asleep when she heard the doorbell ring. It had made her jolt upward and look over at the alarm clock to make sure that she hadn't overslept or anything of that nature. The Sergeant saw that the alarm read 3:26 A.M. She groaned and thought, _I'll feed whoever's out there to the cy-bugs._

The doorbell rang twice more.

She looked over at her husband, who was curled up in a ball with the covers all around him, his nose twitching in the slightest bit. She grabbed on of her pillows and hit him on the head with it. Then, she fell back onto her own pillows, letting herself sink into them so far, she could barely breath.

Fix-it Felix sat up and drowsily mumbled, "Wha-What is it? Is the baby coming?"

Calhoun was about to sit up and answer him, when the doorbell rang again. Felix sighed, "Oh, someone's at the door."

Calhoun sat up and she sighed, her voice filled with exhaustion, "I know. Go answer it." He looked over at her and smiled. She sighed, "Please?"

Felix began walking towards the door, but his vision was still fuzzy, so he ran right into the wall and knocked down plate, hanging on the wall for decoration. The plate missed his head by inches and nearly shattered. It definitely woke him up when he heard the impact so close to him. Calhoun got out of bed, the nipping cold engulfing her whole body, and chuckled at her husband, who could barely get out of bed without hurting himself. She knelt down beside her husband and gave him a kiss on the forehead, "Why don't I get it?"

He smiled, "If you say so, ma'am."

Calhoun left her husband to get back in bed himself, hoping he wouldn't end up falling out a window. as she felt the cold bite at her feet like mad cy-bugs. The cold stabbed at her feet like nails.

The doorbell rang again, as the ringer became more restless. Calhoun groaned, "Alright, alright. Keep your pants on."

She opened the door, expecting to see Vanellope announcing, "Here's your three A.M. wake-up call, Miss! Courtesy of the President of Sugar Rush!" Calhoun had been ready to strangle her when she had done that the _first_ time.

But, instead of the small, squeaky-voiced child, Calhoun was greeted by a game character that she had no memory of whatsoever. The man looked like he was one of the concierge from that old game, _Bell Hop_!, a game that was similar to _Tappers_, but took place in a hotel. Litwak had bought it awhile back, but it hadn't done very well, so he got rid of it. Other than that, the character was just a simple man. He wore a plain, white shirt, that was covered in several wrinkles. His hair was messy and there was an unsharpened pencil behind his large ear. He was holding a small notebook and had a Game Central newspaper pass around his neck and the man only went up to Calhoun's waist. He was a reporter.

Ever since Litwak's had opened, there was always at least one game that didn't turn a profit. Sometimes it took a few weeks. Sometimes they stayed for a year. Sometimes it came out of nowhere, but eventually, the games that didn't have a lot of buzz, were unplugged. With over thirty years of games being unplugged, the gameless characters began popping up like toadstools. So, a few years before _Sugar Rush_ had been brought in, a few game characters had the idea that the gameless characters should have something to do. Some started small businesses in abandoned kiosks that littered Game Central. Others joined in as non-playable characters other games, like they had done in _Fix-it Felix Jr._ And then, the others made a newspaper that would report interesting activity, all for the enjoyment of the public. Then, they left the copies they made in Game Central, so characters could pick up something interesting to read on their way to work, or on their way home.

The man cleared his throat and straightened up the loose-hanging necktie that was around his neck, "Hello, Miss Calhoun. I'm from the Game Central Gazette and I was wondering if I could get an interview with you."

Calhoun tried to shut the door on him, but the reporter stuck his foot between it in the wall. She turned around to face the man. She could barely believe that he would even attempt to stand up to her. Even her toughest soldiers wouldn't do that, and compared to them, this guy was a toothpick. She crossed her arms, "Yes?"

The reporter took a large step closer to Calhoun, "Miss, I did not come here at 3 A.M. to get a door slammed on me. Now, even though you probably broke my foot and as I continue speaking, I fear you will just pulverize me more," The reporter stepped back a little, "I am still a reporter. My job tonight was to get an interview with the first Sergeant, nay, the first character, in this arcade to ever to hold a code between two different consoles. And I don't care if it kills me, I will get one."

Calhoun slumped down against the ottoman, "Why now? Why not after hours, when the arcade is closing?"

The reporter chuckled, "Well, I work the night shift and the paper prints before the arcade opens, so. . ." The man looked up at the Sergeant, who was obviously not amused. He jumped down on his knees, "Please! Just one hour of your time! If I don't get this interview, they'll fire me! And I can't get the boot! I can't get the bo-oo-oot!"

"Get up! For Mod's sake!" Calhoun groaned as she kicked softly at the man. The reporter brushed off his clothes and straightened out his hair a little. Calhoun sighed and rolled her eyes, "Half an hour. Only a few questions. And then, you're out of here!"

The reporter nodded and gave her a toothy grin, "Excellent." He went to sit down in one of the chairs in the sitting room. Calhoun followed, "By the way, my name is Dave Shutté. That's Shoe to the Tay. Not Shutty. Not Shut. Shutté."

Calhoun rolled eyes, "I'll shoe your tay!"

Shutté sat down, opened up his notebook, clicked his pen open and cleared his throat, "Okay. Let's begin."

**A/N: Okay! Big surprise for all of my readers. You get to decide the questions the Shutté is asking! What do you want to know about the baby? I WILL REVEAL THE BABY'S GENDER! DUN DUN DUH! I might include some questions of my own, but it will mostly be made up of the questions YOU ask. You may call it lazy writing, I call it creative! Ask away!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter took a while. I just got back from vacation and just got over heat stroke. Everything is so hectic! Oh, by the way, the title is from the musical, Chicago. I love the musical, and one of my favorite songs is the title song. Look it up. It's pretty good.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Wreck-it Ralph. There, are you happy?**

Calhoun drummed her fingers against her crossed legs, "Are you going to be starting soon?"

Shutté pulled himself out of whatever state he was in, "Oh, I'm sorry miss. Just thinking for a title for this article." He knocked his knuckles against his head, "I got nothin'." Shutté snapped his fingers, "How about this," He held up his hands for dramatic effect, "_The Mother of All Mother's: An Interview with the Arcade's Hottest Mom_."

Calhoun scrunched up her face in rage, "How about," She imitated his hand movements, "_Do the Article You Came Here For, Before I Hit You Where the Sun Don't Shine, Pipsqueek_."

He shook his head, "No no. Much too long."

She rolled her eyes, "Just get on with it, you pencil-pushing thumbtack."

"Honeybunch? Who was at the door?" Felix yawned as he walked out of the hallway.

Shutté stood, giddy and gleeful, "This will be the interview of the year! The pinnacle of my career! Oh, Mr. Fix-it. Such a pleasure to meet you."

Felix smiled uncomfortably, "Well, thank you, I suppose. Who might you be, young man?"

Calhoun slumped her head into her hands, "This is Shutté." She held up a hand, "Shut, no. Shuty, no. Annoying, yes. He's from the Gazette. He wants an interview."

"Oh, Mr. Shutté! I read your column all the time." Felix grabbed the man's hands and shook them vigorously, "Tammy and I would be glad to answer any questions you have!"

Shutté smiled smugly towards the sergeant, "Thank you for such a warm welcome, Mr. Fix-it."

All the Sergeant could do was roll her eyes. Felix took a seat next to his wife on the arm of the chair she was sitting on, "Are you ready, Honey?"

Normally, Calhoun would've responded with an eye roll and a sarcastic comment, but when she looked into Felix's kind, blue eyes, all she could do was smile at her adorable, little husband and say, "Alright. Start 'er up, Shutté."

Dave Shutté crossed his legs and flipped through several pages of notes, until he found what he was looking for. He cleared his throat, "Okay. Miss Calhoun, when did you first realize you were pregnant?"

Calhoun shrugged, "Well, I had been gettin' really sick every morning, but I just assumed that I had a virus or something. But then, I really noticed it when started wanting ham more and more," She turned to her husband, "speaking of which-"

Felix held up his hand, "Hold on, Dearie." He went into the kitchen to fetch his dynamite gal's midnight snack.

"Uh huh." Shutté nodded, "And when did you tell the little mister?"

"Fix-it? Well, actually, he told me. He was the only one who pointed out my odd behavior and various illnesses and said I should go to the doctor's. So, I did."

Felix returned with a small plate with a neatly made ham sandwich on it. Calhoun grabbed it, nodded a thank you to Fix-it and took a large bite of it. "Next question. Hurry it up, Shutté." She ordered.

"Okay, what are your plans on labor day?"

"If I was to go into labor in Hero's Duty, my men would take me to the hospital in Game Central. If it happens in Game Central, I'll get to the hospital with whoever I'm with." The Sergeant shrugged, "Or I can just get there by myself. I'm a big girl."

"Alrightie." Shutté turned to Calhoun and pointed at her plate, "Say, can I have some of that ham?" She responded with a growl, which made Shutté shudder in fear. He cleared his throat, "So, what are your plans after the birth? Miss Calhoun, are you planning on giving up your dangerous and time-consuming job?"

"No!" Calhoun sat up, her mouth still full of ham. She swallowed, "I won't give up my position until frogs do fractions!" She pointed at Felix, "Fix-it can watch the kid when I'm at work."

Shutté turned to Felix, "But, Mr. Fix-it, who will watch your child when you aren't available?"

Felix shrugged, "Well, I suppose Mary would be happy to. And Ralph could watch him or her as well."

"Okay, sounds about right." Shutté nodded. He looked up, "Seriously, can you spare a little ham? I haven't eaten a thing since lunch."

Calhoun glared at him. She grabbed the remaining morsel and ate it in one bite, "Does that answer your question?"

The reporter sighed sadly as Felix excused himself from the room.

"Have you decided on a name yet?"

"Fix-it and I have a few names that we like, but we can't exactly name a child, before we know what it looks like." Calhoun said, letting out a small yawn, "That's like baking a cake without being told which flavor you're supposed to make."

Shutté flipped to his last page of notes, "Okay, almost done. Which one of your games would it's code be stored in and where would it live?"

Calhoun replied without skipping a beat, "Without a doubt, this place. I don't want my newborn getting half-eaten by a cy-bug. Plus, the codes in Hero's Duty are always rearranging due to all the casualties of the day."

Felix walked into the room holding another ham sandwich. He handed it to Shutté, "Here you go, Sir." He smiled, "I can't have my guest goin hungry."

Shutté nodded, "Thank you." He took a large bite out of it and moaned in pleasure. He smiled at Felix, "Delicious."

"You are very welcome!" Felix happily thanked, "I make my ham sandwiches with a dash of mayo and-"

Calhoun crossed her legs, "I'm sorry. Can we cut the dinner party chatter and finish up here? I'm sure you two little ladies can exchange recipes later."

Shutté took another bite out of the sandwich and mumbled, "Alright, are you two worried about the child's survival? No one else has had a baby like you two are."

"Well, we are pretty worried that somethin' might happen, because no one knows exactly what's gonna go on in that delivery room." Felix sighed and looked down at his feet.

Calhoun put her arm around her husband, "Well, we have a pretty good idea how everything is gonna work. We think that our child's code is gonna be half of Fix-it's and half of mine. Once the baby is born, the code will automatically go into both of our games. But then, after they have been alive for awhile, we'll move their whole code into Fix-it Felix Jr." Felix smiled up at his Tammy, "We're pretty sure everything will be fine."

Shutté finished off his sandwich, "Man, that was a good.

Calhoun rolled her eyes, "Are you done now?"

"Okay, this is the last one." Shutté said, placing his hands up as a defence, "Is the Sergeant having a little girl or boy?"

Felix shrugged, "Well, hate to disappoint you, but we don't know yet."

Calhoun bit her lip, "Actually, I do."

"Wha? Since when?" Felix crossed his little arms and tried to look mad, but he ended up just looking pouty.

"Today." The Sergeant massaged her hands, "I was going to tell you, but you were so tired, I didn't have the chance. You passed out faster than a cy-bug on sleeping pills."

Felix stood up, "Well then, what are we havin'? A boy or a girl?"

"Well, they said that these tests are accurate 80 percent of the time, so there's a small possibility that they read the ultrasound wrong." Calhoun sighed, "We're havin' a boy."

Felix smiled, "A baby boy? Oh, Tammy that's wonderful!" Her wrapped his arms around her neck and covered her in kisses.

Shutté stood up and watched the couple kiss for a few minutes. He closed his notebook and edged towards the door, "Well, I'd better be goin.' Uh, thank- thank you for your time. I'll just-"

Calhoun turned her head over to him, "Leave!"

He dashed out of the penthouse, shutting the door behind him. Calhoun smiled, "Well, Fix-it. We're alone and I don't think I'm gonna get back to sleep for quite some time. I think that we should make the most of this time. What do you think?"

Felix gave his wife a large grin and snuggled up closer to her, "I couldn't agree more, Sweetums."

**A/N: Read and review and I'll give you and internet hug and internet** **cookie!**


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